Appreciate what you have. Or rather, what you had. Or in this case, what i have and/or had. The thought has been on my mind for several hours now. Currently, its 2 am, on the 31st of December. Which means that in about 10 hours or so, the year of 2011 is finally coming to an end. It's been an eventful year. Unfortunately i'm not much of a writer at this hour. But to sum it all up, things have been up and down. Made friends, lost friends. Went through hardships (especially a few months back), went through bliss. But yes, as H A R D as it was, all in all, i had a great year.

Why don't I have even the right to remain silent? I am goddamn fucking sick of the same shit. Everyone else throws tantrums, quarrel, disrupt the peace. And yet, as soon as i show the slightest bit of temper, all hell breaks loose. Don't get me wrong; i love my family, acquaintances, friends, and the people around me. But can't somebody just fucking understand that i have my own problems to deal with. To be tampered with is the last thing that i need right now. Yes, my problems might seem miniscule. But goddamn, problems are subjective. They might be ants to you people, but fuck they mean my sanity. And at this point, i'm no longer sure as to how much longer i can keep it. And note to self, being so hypocritical does not help, as it's fucked up acting sane when you're not. Unfortunately this is me. The water is boiling, and fuck i wish somebody would just understand.

I've been thinking a whole lot these past few weeks. But then again, i've always been one to linger on pointless thoughts. But as SPM is done with, the habit seems to be manifesting itself even larger. Especially when i contemplate on the future, and just what am doing, or should be doing exactly, yes that does sound narcissistic. All in all, daily life doesn't help one bit, as it's not easy being constantly surrounded by people with numerous talents; much unlike myself. And oh yes, i am comparing myself to the people around me fyi. But haha, heck, im not doubting myself. I'm just facing the music, much like the persona in this poem above did. Music has always been good to me. But all i could say now is, without the necessary talent, all i have left to stand on is hard-work and determination. Let's hope that would suffice.